Mental Health Week / It Doesn’t End For Everybody

I have been blown away by the support for Mental Health Awareness Week online. It warms my heart to see so many people that genuinely care and want to raise awareness for this cause. It’s so important to battle stigmas, help those who are suffering, both openly and in silence, and to help those that don’t quite understand the importance of mental health yet.

However and like my title says, this week doesn’t end for everybody.

When I wake up tomorrow morning around 10am, I’ll still need to persuade myself to get out of bed. I’ll still look at myself in the mirror whilst brushing my teeth and think, ‘What’s the point?’. I’ll still take myself to the kitchen and avoid making breakfast because I just can’t be bothered. And, I’ll still return to my bed as soon as possible, seeking comfort & isolation in my metaphorical, mental fort.

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It’s like this for many, and I will never stop my efforts to help others suffering with their mental health, and you shouldn’t either. Too many people suffer in silence and hide it from those around them due to shame or embarrassment.

Your mental health is nothing to be embarrassed of; you should be proud of the battles you’ve fought and the strength you have built. You are a warrior, wear that badge with pride.

“You don’t have to be positive all the time. It’s perfectly okay to feel sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, scared or anxious.” – Lori Deschene 

I urge you to reach out to people, ask how old friends are, offer your support to those who seem unhappy and make that extra effort with those who seem to be isolating themselves. You will never truly know what someone is going through, and as for mental illness, a lot of the time you’re unlikely to spot it. The best way we can combat this is by offering our support to those around us. We can talk about mental health online to let people know that we care & understand and continue to raise awareness.

Please if you’re suffering and don’t now what to do, just talk about it. It’ll help more than you know.

28 April / An Update On Me

I haven’t blogged about myself much because I’m feeling a bit on the fence with everything really. Generally, I just feel lost and my mind is so blank.

I had an assessment for counselling on Wednesday and I have been put on a waiting list for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) of which I am very grateful for. But, since I’ve had it twice before and didn’t find it very useful, I’m also a little disappointed.

We discussed how I’ve been feeling and what my general ‘goals’ are. I hate that question, I just want to live a normal life, with normal emotions and not hate myself. Please?

I also spoke about how I’d seen a Psychiatrist in January who came to the conclusion I was suffering with Generalised Anxiety (it doesn’t take a rocket scientist or diagnosis to realise that). I’d actually had the referral because my Dr suspected I could be suffering with Bipolar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder due to my constant mood changes, impulsivity and general confusion in myself (amongst a lot of other ‘symptoms’). But the psychiatrist kind of shut me down.

For one we met in a local activity centre with no waiting room, so my Mum ended up sat in with me which made me feel uncomfortable. He also only asked me a few questions about my childhood and concluded I was ‘normal’. Whatever that is.

The problem is, I have real ‘identity’ issues and I struggle with things like knowing my likes and dislikes. I find myself doing laps in my mind thinking about the things I do in my life. Like, do I do that because she does it? Do I really like it? Am I watching this because they do? Am I actually enjoying it? Blah, blah, blah… These things sound trivial but I’ve always been like it, even with life choices.

I touched on 7 different A Levels in college, trying to figure out if I actually enjoyed the subjects I chose. I actually did Business Studies AS Level twice (two years of studying) and failed both times – I’ve still no idea whether I enjoyed it or if I just liked the idea of business. Career wise I have since been a Letting Agent and a Fitness Instructor and given up on both.

I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing or what I want. I really want some help with this but I’ve no idea where to turn?

6 April / Thoughts

I’m at a loss on how to describe my thoughts right now; they’re up and down, left and right, inside out.

I feel as though everyone in the world is travelling the highway at 100mph, whilst I’m scraping 30mph. Ramming the gear stick into third, when I wasn’t quite ready to leave second. I judder on, hoping things might run smoothly if only I persist and ignore the struggle, maybe I’ll catch up with the speed.

But, I can’t do that. I can’t ignore the fact that I’m just a hinderance to those around me. Because in a financial sense, I am. In an emotional sense, I’m probably exhausting and hard work. My moods are here, there and everywhere. I make decisions in the heat of the moment, and then realise they weren’t right. I find myself to be exhausting.

Although people offer their support, nobody can help you 100% and nobody can totally understand. The snide comments slip, the eyes roll, the anger builds – I can’t help who I am and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.

I just want things to be right, and more than anything – I want to rid my mind and memory of anxiety and just get back to work. I lack purpose and routine and I need that more than anything. But, I just need an employer who understands that I might have bad days and I might cry sometimes – but I’m there to help and I’m trying my hardest. Does this kind of employer even exist? I fear I’ll never find them.

I fear I’ll never move forward and I’ll always be in second gear watching the success above me.

The Liebster Award

 

chelseaThank you to Chelsea at Think Feel Strong for the tag, check out her blog!

The Rules

  • Post 11 Facts About Yourself
  • Answer the 11 Questions Your Nominator Asked
  • Nominate 11 Other Bloggers
  • Ask Them 11 Questions
  • Let Them Know They’ve Been Nominated

11 Facts About Me

  1. I’m obsessed with Harry Potter
  2. I am a dog person and have two French Bulldogs (cats scare me)
  3. I am a qualified Fitness Instructor
  4. I’m incredibly clumsy
  5. I hate cheese
  6. I have 7 tattoos
  7. I’m pigeon toed
  8. I talk to myself a lot
  9. My Rubiks Cube record is 2 minutes 20 seconds
  10. I can name every single European Country
  11. I never go anywhere without my Journal

My 11 Answers

  1. Why did you start blogging?
    I started blogging as a release for thoughts and experiences with mental health, with the intention of helping others realise that they’re not alone.
  2. What is your favourite part of blogging?
    Getting good feedback, and hearing that I’ve made a difference to a person’s life. It’s all about helping people so that makes me so, so happy.
  3. What is your favourite food?
    Definitely mashed potato, but it has to be with gravy! (Specifically chicken flavoured Bisto gravy!)
  4. What is your dream job?
    My dream job has always been to work with animals – maybe as a Zoo Keeper!
  5. What was your favourite subject in school?
    Drama or History!
  6. What is your biggest fear?
    Being a failure and letting down my family and boyfriend.
  7. Morning bird or night owl?
    Night owl 100%!
  8. What’s your least favourite part of blogging?
    Comparing myself to other bloggers, and thinking that I’m not as good as them or as well recognised.
  9. What post are you most proud of?
    Probably my first Vlog, because I got lots more views than I thought I would and even though I was scared, I did it anyway!
  10. Do you have any tips for a beginning blogger?
    Just be so proudly, and authentically you people have no other option but to love you!
  11. What’s your favourite social media to promote your blog on?
    Definitely Twitter, that’s where I get the most views/responses.

My 11 Nominations are…

  1. Ayla – Anxious Agony Aunt
  2. Mel  – Geek Magnifique
  3. Liam – Liam and His Anxiety
  4. Jade – Jade Writes
  5. Melissa – Love Melissa
  6. Mike – Mike’s Open Journal
  7. Meg – Be Kind to your Mind
  8. Melina – Ivefoundwaldo
  9. Emily – Slice of Lemmy Pie
  10. Caroline – Call Me Caz
  11. Louise – Loubee Lou Blogs

My 11 Questions…

  1. What is your lasting message to your readers?
  2. What would you wear to a Disney themed fancy dress party?
  3. Stay in or night out?
  4. Comedy or Horror?
  5. Summer or Winter?
  6. What is your party trick?
  7. What are the top three things on your Bucket List?
  8. What’s the first thing you would buy if you won millions on the lottery?
  9. Favourite alcoholic beverage? If you don’t drink, why did you make that decision?
  10. If you could go back five years and tell yourself anything, what would it be?
  11. What’s your favourite memory from your childhood?

Can’t wear to see your guys’ answers and again, thanks to Chelsea for the tag, make sure you check out/follow her blog!

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3 March ’17 – Journal / Depression

So, I have been feeling depressed.

I haven’t talked much about depression yet, because I just haven’t been feeling that way for any strenuous periods of time. Now, it’s likely that I’ve been feeling depressed because I’ve been poorly and I haven’t been eating but it doesn’t change the fact that I am feeling this way.

Depressed me is an asshole and I absolutely hate myself when I’m suffering with it. I do nothing, I say nothing, I avoid eating, I avoid socialising, I avoid doing anything – and I sleep. Sleep has always been my ‘saviour’. 9 times out of 10 if I’m having a bad day, I just go for a nap, usually for an entire afternoon. Because, it’s fast and easy relief from my mind. But it’s counterproductive for my progress and I’ve been trying to get out of the habit.

I guess as well, I’m so overwhelmed with this new job, it hasn’t left my mind at all. I haven’t felt the severity of anxiety I did yesterday in a long, long time. And, it’s hard because just when I think I have my shit together that happens and I just think.. well bloody marvellous, what is the point? And just, why me? What did I do to deserve feeling this way?

I have been trying so hard to pick myself up, and it’s a process that comes a day at a time for sure, but why do I just fall back down that well so easily?

I’m getting so frustrated with the universe and especially myself.

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Blogger Recognition Award

 

RULES

– Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
– Write a post about your award.
– Give a brief story on why you started your blog.
– Select 15 bloggers you want to give this award to.
– Comment on each blog to let them know you have nominated them and provide a link to the post you created.

Thank you so much to Abi, writer of Home of Abi, for nominating me for the above, lovely award. Check out her blog!

I started this blog in November 2016 (so not long ago!) to provide a specific platform to talk about my mental health struggles and how I see through day to day life. It is ever evolving, but the general goal is to provide a wellbeing based platform to provide others with comfort, support and helpful tips.

Here are my 15 blogger nominations (in no particular order!) – check them out!

  1. The Borderline Holistic // Abii Hilton
  2. Year of You // Hayley Colleen
  3. Little Thoughts Blog // Hannah Rainey
  4. Megrrees // Megan Rees
  5. Liam and his Anxiety // Liam Stephens
  6. Oh Evie // Evie
  7. Aine Wendy // Aine Wendy
  8. Any Exit // Charlotte
  9. Sarah in Wonderland // Sarah
  10. Ashleigh Hamman // Ashleigh Hamman
  11. The Ethical Evolution
  12. Love, Lilli // Beth
  13. Adventure & Anxiety // Bethany Jane
  14. Pinafores & Posies // Tori
  15. Girl Masked // Kate Hawkins
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List of Twitter Chats & How They Can Help You Grow as a Blogger!

If you are looking to grow on Twitter, discover new blogs, meet new people and just generally interact; joining a Twitter chat will be perfect for you!

Chats generally last an hour long, and include questions from a host Twitter page for you to answer. All you do is follow the hashtag (search it and click ‘latest’) making sure you include the hashtag in any of your answers/replies and just join in!


Don’t know what the f**k a hashtag is? Rather than me attempting to explain, check out this rather informative post!


Here is a list of weekly chats in GMT (UK Time), but note they are not all UK based!

MONDAY

5pm – #BeeChat
6pm – #TheGirlGang
7pm – #BDIB (Blogs Do It Better)
7pm – #TBHChat (The Blogger Hub)
8pm – #CommentStorm
8pm – #EthicalHour
8pm – #BeautyBabble
9pm – #SassyBloggers
9pm – #EventsPlannersTalk
9.30pm – #PJChat

TUESDAY

1am – #FoodieChats
7pm – #PLBChat (Pretty Little Bloggers)
7pm – #BookBloggers
7pm – #CraftBlogClub
8pm – #FBLChat (Fashion, Beauty, Life)
8pm – #SexTalkTuesday
9pm – #GRLPOWR
9pm – #BlogHour

WEDNESDAY

7pm – #ABunchOfGirls
7pm – #LBloggers
7pm – #TeacupClub
7pm – #VeganHour
8pm – #MHChat (Mental Health)
8pm – #BloggersSparkle
8pm – #BBloggers (Beauty Bloggers)
9pm – #LateNightBloggers

THURSDAY

7pm – #TBHChat (The Blogger Hub)
7pm – #AFilmClub
8pm – #GRLPOWR
8pm – #VeganRecipeHour
8.30pm – #TalkMH (Mental Health)
9pm – #BeeChat

FRIDAY

7pm – #ABunchOfGirls
7pm – #LazyChat
8pm – #BDIB (Blogs Do It Better)
8pm – #WestCountryHour
9pm – #JRTVChat (John’s Road to Volunteering)
11pm – #InsomniChat
12am – #MoonChat

SATURDAY

6pm – #PLBChat (Pretty Little Bloggers)
6pm – #BloggersSparkle
6pm – #SocialBloggers
7pm – #BloggersTribe

SUNDAY

9.30am – #BloggerationChat
5pm – #TeacupClub
6pm – #FitBunniesChat (Fitness)
6pm – #BlogsUnite
7pm – #TBHChat (The Blogger Hub)
7pm – #LBloggers (Lifestyle Bloggers)
8pm – #MBlogChat (Mummy Bloggers)
8pm – #PosiMH (Mental Health)
8pm- #ChattyBees
8pm – #BBloggers (Beauty Bloggers)
8pm – #BlogosphereChat
9pm – #GRLPOWR


Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter here!

Much love to you all X

#MentalMovement / The Happiness Planner (And Why You Need One!)

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It’s no secret that my love for journaling, pretty notebooks and planning is second to none. I spend half my days scribbling something totally random down in any one of my 3,000 notebooks (seriously, I have a notebook dedicated to the populations of countries…) So, when I stumbled across The Happiness Planner I just had to have one!

When I received my parcel with the planner in I was so excited to open it. The planner is perfectly packaged in a box which is coloured corresponding to the planner. And as well as the planner itself, the box provides you with a pen, clips, and cute posters to reflect and plan the year ahead – just what I needed!

Happiness Tools

As explained by ‘The Happiness Planner’

Throughout the Planner you will be guided to create Your Happiness Roadmap and integrate that into your daily life. You will be prompted to:

  • Discover yourself
  • Identify your strengths and weaknesses
  • Integrate more of what makes you happy into your daily life
  • Plan to make changes to the things that make you unhappy
  • Set goals that you want to achieve and write down action plans
  • Start each day with an inspirational quot and an exciting thought
  • Pinpoint your focus for each month and each day
  • Rate yourself on your energy level and happiness level
  • Reflect on your day and see things from the positive side
  • Reflect on your month and set goals for improvement
  • Reflect on 2017

Read my full review here.

Your Sweet Anxiety / ‘my anxiety is an old friend’ / Submission #3

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My anxiety is the uncertainty that demands I’m an hour early for every appointment.
It’s the panic that makes me leave a busy venue or forces my gaze to the floor in supermarkets.
It’s the pounding heart in my chest because I have work in the morning. 

My anxiety is the near constant wrenching and churning in my gut for no reason at all.
It’s the two blue ticks that dominate my mind, waiting for you to respond.
It’s the nausea that spreads when you don’t. 

My anxiety is the sudden gasp as several thoughts rush into the front of my mind at once.
It’s the voice that tells me I’m making it all up, wasting people’s time, that the depression isn’t real.
It’s the hours wasted sleeping to shut it all out. 

But, my anxiety is also the reason I’m rarely late for an appointment.
It’s the empathy that supports those around me going through the same thing.
It’s the drive to work harder and love my job more.

Most of all, my anxiety is an old friend.
It’s teaching me slowly to be me more resilient.
It’s definitely a pain sometimes, but I wouldn’t be me without it.

 


Chas Brickland, 32, is a writer for #MentalMovement and is on Twitter too, check him out!

If you’d like to submit to Your Sweet Anxiety check out the details here.

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